"What will happen to him when I'm gone?"
Sounds like the familiar melancholy refrain of every Hindustani Maa about her son. Our Mother Indias don't trust their sons to look after themselves. Infact this is perhaps the root cause of most Saas-Bahu khit-pits.
"That is not his favourite Sunday T-shirt!"
"That's not how he likes his poha!"
"Did you add two spoonfuls of sugar to his coffee?!"
Mothers-in-law seldom trust their daughters-in-law to be able to look after their sons after the Saas breathes her antim saans!
But mothers of straight sons can at least leave their pyaara puttars in the (however seemingly inadequate) care of their bahus. What happens if your son is gay?
This fear was written large over the faces of many mothers at a Gay Bombay meet I recently attended. The law still prohibits same sex marriages, thus leaving many homosexual couples with only two options. Either defy society and move in together or live, grow old and die alone.
Adoption laws also don't help. A man can't adopt a baby girl and a gay man cannot adopt a baby boy. While the intention of our law makers is only to protect children from abuse, it leaves most gay couples childless, unless they opt for surrogacy. The law of the land, unwittingly or by design, punishes gay men by making it almost impossible for them to have a happy family life.
It takes me back to that scene in Mrs. Doubtfire where Robin Williams tells children about different kinds of families... "Some have a mommy and a daddy. Some have just a mommy or just a daddy. Some only have grand parents..." It would be prudent to extend the scope and include families with two mommies or two daddies.
Gender doesn't define families or hold them together... Love does.
Sounds like the familiar melancholy refrain of every Hindustani Maa about her son. Our Mother Indias don't trust their sons to look after themselves. Infact this is perhaps the root cause of most Saas-Bahu khit-pits.
"That is not his favourite Sunday T-shirt!"
"That's not how he likes his poha!"
"Did you add two spoonfuls of sugar to his coffee?!"
Mothers-in-law seldom trust their daughters-in-law to be able to look after their sons after the Saas breathes her antim saans!
But mothers of straight sons can at least leave their pyaara puttars in the (however seemingly inadequate) care of their bahus. What happens if your son is gay?
This fear was written large over the faces of many mothers at a Gay Bombay meet I recently attended. The law still prohibits same sex marriages, thus leaving many homosexual couples with only two options. Either defy society and move in together or live, grow old and die alone.
Adoption laws also don't help. A man can't adopt a baby girl and a gay man cannot adopt a baby boy. While the intention of our law makers is only to protect children from abuse, it leaves most gay couples childless, unless they opt for surrogacy. The law of the land, unwittingly or by design, punishes gay men by making it almost impossible for them to have a happy family life.
It takes me back to that scene in Mrs. Doubtfire where Robin Williams tells children about different kinds of families... "Some have a mommy and a daddy. Some have just a mommy or just a daddy. Some only have grand parents..." It would be prudent to extend the scope and include families with two mommies or two daddies.
Gender doesn't define families or hold them together... Love does.
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