With all this brouhaha surrounding the ‘God Particle’, I’m
tempted to put down my two bits. Turns out, the scientist who discovered the
damn thing wanted to call it ‘That Goddamned Particle’, but his editor thought
otherwise and re-christened it ‘The God Particle’. Others with a religious bent
suggest that the new nomenclature is more apt as the particle gives matter its
mass.
By that logic, cheese is my God Particle. It gives me
mass. The proof lies in the undulating folds of sagging cellulite on my thighs!
(No one will ask me out for a swim date after reading this… Sigh!)
But seriously, I have been hearing about this God guy a
lot. For the thirty odd years I have walked the planet, everyone loves to
either give him credit for all the awesome stuff in the world or blame the poor
guy for everything that goes wrong! I mean seriously John, Linda is mad at you,
because YOU forgot to pick Percy up from school. How is that God’s fault???
Sometimes I wonder if God is a lowly underpaid, overworked
bureaucrat slaving away at piles of yellowing paperwork in a musty, stuffy
office somewhere. What if he is a janitor who cleans up after our mess and
leaves things nice and tidy before we wake up the next morning? Is he a traffic
cop manning the busiest junction or is he your favourite bartender who somehow
always knows exactly what concoction would work for you.
God is your dad when he teaches you how to ride a bike,
your brother when he teaches you how to whistle or your first lover teaching
you how to kiss…
The science guys say he is a really small particle
proving ancient sages right when they said, “Bhagwaan kan kan mein basa hai,”
(God lies in every tiny little grain of sand).
I never quite saw eye to eye with those who follow
organised religion. It is as unpalatable to me as organised crime, organised
relationships and organised journalism! But I do like a couple of these
interesting characters that keep popping up in various religious texts.
I love Jesus… The guy had the guts to die for what he
believed in! Infact, Jesus reminds me of Socrates. I also love Hanuman. Dude,
he must be the best friend in the entire history of the universe to set his own
tail on fire to rescue somebody else’s wife! And then there is Durga: The Demon
Slayer! I mean, look at who all male Gods turn to when all their efforts to
kill asuras fail… a chaar bachchon ki Maa! Never send a man to do a woman’s
job! Durga knew how to kick some mean demon ass! Attagirl!
I dated a theoretical physicist once. They are fascinating
creatures with an uncanny ability to think in a structured systematic way. They
have some kind of an elaborate cross-referenced index of ideas in their head.
Most of us fail to understand their behaviour. Notice how every conversation
will adhere to the three laws of Asimov’s robots and how every aliens vs.
humans debate will eventually boil down to Batman (human) being way more awesome
than Superman (alien).
I know my scientist ex-boyfriend is hopping about like an
excited little bunny on steroids today and it’s not because he and his kind
found God… but because they found an awesome little particle, none of us
non-science people could ever understand the significance of. To put it in
simple words, every story has 5 Ws and 1 H. Who, When, What, Where, Why and
How. These guys had a theory about the story of how the world was created. The
Higgs Boson proves their theory right and that they got their 5Ws and 1H bang
on (well at least 5 Sigma accuracy).
I hope you know baby, that in some weird detached way… I
still love you… I wonder if love has mass? It does leave a void behind once it
has left your life.
